February 2, 2011

A Losing Battle Revisited

"Do you fight a lot?"

The last question from the girls.

No, not really. Rarely, even.

It's true now. In that first year, that year of learning each other and making two into one, scared of losing our individuality and independence. Oh yeah...we fought.

In the years that followed, typical marital spats arose. One topic always stirred the anger. R would avoid it, but I foolishly jumped on it every chance I could. Beating it to death, only to resurrect it and start all over again. In God's grace and mercy have I been able to walk away from it. Finally, I have enough security in Him, in this marriage He's put together, and in the love for me He's placed inside my man's heart that I can leave it alone.

In the process, I've learned a powerful truth.

Many things are worth fighting for.

Many things are worth fighting against.

Few things are worth fighting about.

Joe: You know, sometimes I wonder...
Kathleen: What?
Joe: Well... if I hadn't been Fox Books and you hadn't been The Shop Around the Corner, and you and I had just, well... met...
Kathleen: I know.
Joe:  Yeah. I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you and saying, "Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?"
Kathleen: Joe...
Joe: And you and I would have never been at war. And the only thing we'd fight about would be which video to rent on a Saturday night.
Kathleen: Well, who fights about that?
Joe: Well, some people. Not us.
Kathleen: We would never.

*reposted from the archives



holy experience

5 comments:

Lisa notes... said...

"Many things are worth fighting for.

Many things are worth fighting against.

Few things are worth fighting about."

So true, Melissa. When I think about the things my husband and have heated discussions about, they're rarely of any importance.

Good food for thought...

Amy said...

Melissa,

Thanks so much for the reminder about few things being worth fighting about. I need to write that on a card and post it somewhere I'll see it the next time pride whispers that the fight would be worth it.
Amy

Jenny said...

Oh so true. A very good post, thank you.

Dianna said...

Thank you for your wisdom you share here, Melissa. I enjoyed your post.

Craig said...

I came over from Ann’s today

Wow – is this a blessed set of words, “Many things are worth fighting for.

Many things are worth fighting against.

Few things are worth fighting about.” In life it’s true, in the close in life of marriage it must be really true. I’m not married. I don’t have to be to get what you wrote here.

This was a perfect thing to read today.

God Bless and Keep