December 11, 2012

December Thoughts

This space has been quiet for a while now.  I've been reluctant to put fingers to keyboard, to attempt words that could perhaps explain my absence - if anyone still reads and cares. There are a number of things I could write about...

~tears that threaten to brim my eyes constantly. When I set out the nativity Mama painted for me. When I hung my favorite set of ornaments from my childhood. When my girl decorated Dad's Christmas tree this weekend, just as she did with Mama each year. When I think about how strange it will be to gather in the church fellowship hall for a family Christmas gathering, with Mama's name etched in stone just a few feet away. When I can't help but wishing I'd known that last Christmas would be Mama's last Christmas.

~ a season that's been much busier than I've wanted it to be.

~that the parties and shopping have left me empty and craving something more. While I have prepared my home for Christmas, I've failed miserably in preparing my heart for Christ.

~the fact that 70° weather in December depresses me.

~the disappointment of a particular circumstance.  Being obedient to the Word of the Lord is sometimes difficult, even when I trust and believe that the outcome will be for my good. It reminds me that this is not my home, and for that I am so very thankful.

~the simpler, happier, more productive and less dramatic life I discover when I take a break from the internet.

~how much I'm enjoying Little Women, The Christ of Christmas, and Behold the Lamb of God: An Advent Narrative.

Trying to find words to expand upon these things either cheapens them or gives them more value than they deserve. And so, I return once again to my quiet and small life marked by an incredible and enormous God.